Kassie's 3rd Birthday

Yes Kassie turns 3 today. She is such a joy and a beautiful child. She makes us laugh everyday. We love it when she wipes her own tears away. The best part of her birth is we get to remember her birthmom and the sacrifice she made for us. We love you Mama Kassie and Family.

Be the Best Mommy I can be.

I am going to just put it all out there. And it is not meant to hurt anyone but for me to collect my thoughts and put into perpective. As our family knows that this year is definately a baby year. I think we have 6 babies coming between now and the beginning of next year. And of course I am just thrilled for each and everyone one of my neices.

I am going to be honest so I can be honest with myself. When I first started having difficulty getting pregnant I wanted to be supportive of my family and their little blessings. I never wanted anyone to feel sorry for me or hold back telling me they were pregant. In fact I only looked at it as I was going to be an aunt again and only thought of how much fun it was going to be to play with babies. But for some reason things have changed for me. It was really hard to hear family after family being pregant. And again I am happy for them but it was tearing me apart inside. I have been wanting to adopt another baby but knew it really was not the time for me. And hearing after everyone being pregant just tore my heart apart. So finally after long talks with my husband and family. One particualy family member has really let the shine in our my little deary place. I know I am not ready so I need to put my energy into my husband and kids. Give them everything from me and be the best mom and wife I can be.

I love my husband. He has really come to know me and how I think. And I like to think I do the same for him. We have a family and an eternal family for that fact. And I just need to make it so darn good that when I am ready for a baby it will come with best mommy I can be.

Thanks Tami for always listening to my whines and cries. It has been hard not having mom around to help me think and work through some of these trials. And it makes it a little more bareable knowing I have a family that loves me.