The initiation to motherhood

I was officiated in to motherhood. Kassie spit up right down my shirt in between my boobs. I feel so lovely. But I am truly enjoying every minute of it.

More bad nights ahead

I had my first real bad night. Devin was working a night shift and I was with Kassie all night. She was fussy and moaning and groaning. I felt really bad. So we took her to the Doctor and she said that she is collic. I am really sad. I still love her no matter what. I will just need a little help. She weighs 5lbs. 7 oz. She is still gaining so no worries there.

Kassie's 1st pictures

Isn't she beautiful. She had her 1st pictures taken this weekend. She was so cute. She was very hungry so it sometimes looks like she was smiling.

Witches Party

Witches Party? I bet you are just wondering what the heck that is. Well my sister Beth had the greatest idea to have a theme for our party. We all dressed up as Witches. Although we get together to have fun it was interesting to see how everyone came dressed differently. And with our new addition, she came as my black cat. Doesn't she look so scary. Wait until you see her get hungry. She is a mad cat that needs her milk and whatever you do, don't get in her way.

Kassie's Nursery

My sister's came up and did Kassie's whole room as a gift for her. I am so excited to get her dressed and change diapers in here. Crib was a gift from my boss. The vanity I had painted a while ago. It was furniture I had since I was 9 years old. I am so excited because we will need to add more to it later for a boy.

AFTER

BEFORE

The roller coaster ride on Magic Mountain

WEEEEEEEE!

Sike!

Just kidding do you really think I would take this baby on a ride on Magic Mountain. She is just having fun right here.

First Bath

Rubber Ducky,
your so fun!
Rubber Ducky,
your the one!

Looks like another Mattie.
Kassie had her first bath today and just had a ball. She looks so calm.

Our happy ever ending Story but it doesn't end here.

I want to give everyone the whole story but since life has began with our little Kassie I haven't had a moment. But here we go.

We received an email last Tuesday from the LDS website. And as surprising as it was, it was our first contact from that website. I was just thrilled. It was from the birth mother and she just told us a little about her and that she had a baby in the ICU born at 3lbs 6oz. and just had her breathing tube and feeding tube taken out. BM also said that she was doing great and that the hospital will let her go home when she was around 5 to 6 lbs. She had also mentioned that she was making a decision between us and another family. Well of course we emailed her back and told her we were so interested. I got another email from the BM the next day and she had some additional questions. She wanted to know if we would be able to come soon and if our work would allow us to come on quick notice and spend some time with the baby. She really wanted someone to bond with her. The BM told us she had already given the baby a name of Lenaeah Angel. We thought it was really cute. So I waited for a response from her when I responded to her last and I still didn't hear back from her. So I thought I would wait until the next day. I was trying not to push. So the next morning I emailed her again and asked if she had made a decision and hopefully she could let me know one way or the other. And right away got an email from her. She thought the case worker had already contacted us and she said she had called me the day before and my work said I was busy. We had just missed each other. After the email I got a phone call from the BM. We talked for a while and I told her I would call my case worker and see what the next step would be. I talked to the case worker and he wanted me to wait until the BM had met with the other case worker and got some paper work going. The BM called me later and said she did meet with the case worker and got everything in line. Now that it was in place, I waited for Devin to come home from work so we could leave to go see this new and precious baby.

I got all ready for us to leave Friday night when Devin got home from work. It started to get late and he was worried about going down the Globe canyon at night. Little did we know that we were still going to have a few hiccups along the way. On our way down we got a voice mail from my case worker saying that the CPS is now involved for some reason and that the other case worker was going to go first thing in the morning to find out what is going on. We got to the hotel about midnight and could not get to sleep right away but we new we needed to get up in the morning. I told the BM that we would call her in the morning to meet her at the hospital.

First thing in the morning I called the BM and her family said that she and her mom are already at the hospital. So Devin and I quickly got out the door and wanted to get the hospital as soon as possible. When we first got there BM's mother was there to greet us and gave us a great warm welcome and hug. She was great. She took us up to the NICU floor to meet the BM. My first response was that the BM was beautiful and looked sad and sweet all at the same time. She too opened her arms to us and gave us a big hug as well. All I could think about was what she must be going through. She took us in to see this tiny baby she was going to give us. When got to look at this new baby all we could do is feel the spirit and love that surrounded us all. I got to touch her for the first time. Those who know about my mother knows she had a secret handshake and I showed baby Kassie it for the very first time by squeezing her hand 3 times. Which means "I love you". After I had done this she gave me the biggest smile. My heart just melted. The BM picked her up with all her medical wires and tubes attached to her and handed baby Kassie to me. The birth mom and I both shared some happy and sad tears.

The case worker wanted to meet with BM and discuss what needs to happen. They told her that as long as she signed the relinquishment today, CPS would not get involved and the baby could come home with us. So the BM right away gave permission for us to be with the baby and the case worker had to prepare the paper work. The hospital wanted us to stay over night so we could learn how to care for the baby before we were discharged from the hospital. Just before we left for the office the BM gave us some pictures and clothes to give to baby Kassie. I just thought that was just great. I am hoping to make a scrapbook so she could look at it anytime she wanted too. While we were waiting for the paperwork to be done, Devin and I went to the Mall to find a gift for the BM.

We all met at the Office while she signed her papers and we signed ours. Devin and I had not decided on a name yet. I know the BM had a name for her already but we wanted something to fit our family as well. We told Kassie the BM that we wanted to name the baby after her. She seemed really excited. After all the paper work was all done we thought we would go have some dinner before we headed back to the hospital. We went out to eat Italian and boy was it delicious. While we were there we gave Kassie the BM the gift we had gotten for her. She thought it was nice. We also got to met baby Kassie's full sister Neveah. She is two and baby Kassie looks just like her. Everyone was so exhausted and ready to go home. We truly had a happily ever ending.

But that is not all.

When we got discharged from the hospital my sister kept telling me that she a big surprise for us when we got there. We had no idea what was about to be in store for us. The day before we brought Kassie home was Devin's birthday. And my birthday was coming up the next week. And of course we had to celebrate Kassie's birthday as well. When we got there they had gifts for all three of us. I got to open my gift first and a card. It was pictures to hang up in my bedroom. Then, I got to open Kassie's gift and a card. It was a pink fuzzy blanket. Finally, It was Devin's turn. He got a blue blanket and a card. I was just thinking a mommy and daddy blanket. But then Devin asked me to read his card. It said" February 22nd is Kassie's brother's birthday. Any Questions. Oh my goodness, I could not even began to think what was going on. Finally, my sister's explained. Before we started everything going on with Kassie they had been talking to another BM that was wanting to give her baby up for adoption as well. She is a friend of my sister's before they moved out of their ward. The only thing was that she had already picked another family. But this family she had picked already has 5 boys and really wanted a girl. The BM called my sister on Devin's birthday and said she was having a boy. And that it was going to be our baby. Can you believe another miracle? I was speechless and Devin was crying. I think it was the third time I have ever seen him cry.

We have been blessed a hundred times and more. We could not have asked for more. We are a family now and happy as can be. Thanks to all of our family and friends for their faith and prayers to bring us this gorgeous little baby. And of course I cannot forgot my Father in Heaven and Savior. All I can think about is helping those in my same situation that have struggled to have baby of their own. And all I want to do is help them get what they desire.

I have never been so happy. It is truely a blessing to have a beutiful girl. She is my baby Kassie girl.

Devin is so proud. He never thought he would be so excited to have a little girl but he was.

Miracle 1

We are excited to tell everyone that we have our first baby. Her name will be Kassie Marie Haws. She weighs 3lbs. and 6 oz. We have been so excited to show her off to everyone. She is a premie. But very strong. We love her so very much. Heavenly Father has been really picky with what baby he sent us. And he sent us a very beautiful girl.